“It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique. It’s not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right, your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound re-invention.”
I couldn’t agree more. Back in college, I had an idea of who and what I was going to be in the real world. I worked and pushed myself into becoming that perceived ideal. But it just didn’t work out. I failed a lot of times, and I was so disappointed with myself and the universe. Looking back, I know now that life just had a better idea. When we try so hard to achieve something or to become someone and we fail, we just really have to accept the fact that it’s not meant to happen. It’s a cliché, but it does happen in real life. It happened to me.
When we know deep inside that there’s nothing anymore that we can do about achieving our perceived ideal, we try to reinvent ourselves. We look deep inside and talk to our hearts (sorry for the melodramatic lines :P) and find out what makes us truly happy. We make that thing a priority and we try to achieve it. There is no assurance that it will materialize or that we will succeed. But we wouldn’t know unless we try. Even the journey or the process of reinvention is a remarkable life experience in itself. We learn things about ourselves and our capabilities. And in this sense, we never really lose. We just gain more. We become better.
This trip is my first try at reinvention. I have absolutely no idea if it’s going to work out or not. All I know is that it is making me happy right now – the goal and the journey towards that goal. I have never felt so excited and passionate about something in a very long time. For the past five years my life has been mostly about failures and frustrations. The past two years has been about fears and settling for what is here right now. This trip saved me. This trip awakened my spirit again. I feel like I am capable again.
I know it’s such a bizarre idea. I know that for some it is perceived as irresponsible or I’m being ungrateful of the blessings that I have. I know that it does look like a stupid and scary thing to do. But this bizarre, stupid, and scary thing is making me happy right now. And I want to be happy, genuinely happy for a change.
Wow. The words above just found themselves pouring out of my heart. This entry was supposed to just say that I find Conan O’Brien’s speech funny and inspiring. Instead, I just realized that I haven’t been this happy and passionate in quite a long time. Which is really really great. :)
Baksei Cham Krong Temple, Cambodia
Angkor Wat Sunrise
Angkor Wat, Cambodia
“Passion is life’s fuel. It is to conspire with the universe and align yourself with what it is you were meant to do in this life. And when you live out your passion, miracles happen. So find it.” - To be a dancing star, Youngblood, PDI
I love travelling. It started with an accidental trip to Thailand in 2008. After that, I decided I will continue travelling and save up for a DSLR. One of the places in my list was Angkor Wat.
A year after, I bought Sundays - my DLSR. Another year passed, and I found myself in Angkor Wat and waiting for the sunrise. And this moment happened.
I guess it’s true when they say that once you make that decision to pursue something you really want, everything falls into place. And yes, more wonderful things happen. It’s not just the feeling of pride of achieving your goals, but more of the surprises that come with it. And, for me, this moment was one of those surprises.
So I say GO! Do whatever it is you want to do. It may take a while, but it will be worth the wait. ;)
“Why live on the Edge? When you can JUMP OFF?”
25th Birthday, Macau Tower
This perfectly describes what I am feeling right now. Four more months/Just four months - until I make the big jump. I am so happy, excited, anxious, and scared. But more excited! WEEE!
“It’s amazing what you find if you just look for it.”
The Perfect Vacation
Bulog Island, Coron, Palawan
secluded beach. island all to ourselves. everything either white or blue. water sooo clear and so calm. it was indeed the perfect vacation. :)
oh how i miss this place. coron, i will be back!
and thank you for making me more proud to be from the philippines. :)
The Tree of Life
Ta Prohm Temple, Angkor Wat Complex, Cambodia
Into the Open Fields
Beside Mayon Volcano, Albay, Bicol
I remember one morning getting up at dawn, there was such a sense of possibility. You know that feeling?
And I remember thinking to myself this is the beginning of happiness. This is where it starts and of course there will always be more. It never occurred to me it wasn’t the beginning.
It was happiness. It was the moment. Right then.